Saturday, June 20, 2009

Family Reunion

Ever wonder why we don't have family reunions more than once a year?
I come from a large family. Lots of aunts, uncles, and any number of 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc, etc cousins. You walk in the place and the musty smell makes you wonder if what they say about inhaling mold is true. After scanning the room you realize you don't know half the people there and for that you are thankful.
There is the group from just south of the Missouri border in the woods somewhere who think indoor plumbing is of the devil. "That damn flusher will suck the innards right outta ya. I ain't gonna sit my bare ass... you get the drift. Within the first five minutes cousin Birdie shares every aliment she's had in the last ten years in gory detail and preceeds to hike her skirt up to show the scar on her butt from the boil she had that was as big as a half dollar. Where do I run? The conversation behind (no pun intended) me has to do with gastric juices and farting.
Yikes! Just shoot me now!I escape into the kitchen only to be confronted by a great uncle who finishes every sentence you start or will start in the next year, all the while clicking his false teeth. He could make Job run screaming down the hall in 30 seconds flat. Minnie who talks constantly, none stop and is the expert on everything, makes me wish she was like C3PO with a shut off switch.
Then its time for the meal. I make my way around the room sizing up who's food will be safe to eat. One thing is for sure, I won't be eating anything from Arkansas. Birdie's casserole resembles mac and cheese with little grey bits of what looks like kitty litter. If that isn't bad enough, she puts catsup over the top and licks the remaining drop of catsup off and sets the bottle on the table. Maybe there is a vending machine in the hall.
The rest of the day creeps by, and with no place to hide I've resigned myself to my fate and have become accoustomed to answering to Beth.
But soon I begin to appreciate the oddities and ecentrictiy that surround me. Yes, even cousin Birdie and her group. there is a comfort here. One that comes from a shared background. There isn't one person in the room who wouldn't give you their last dollar if you needed it, who accepts you for who you are and loves you anyway.
So why do we only get together once a year?
God said he would never leave us or forsake us. And just maybe our flesh and blood relatives are His way to remind us of that.



  1. Yep, from about 1985 on my way to a Halloween party. I'll use something a little more current when I get one :)